Anniversary!

Yeah, I know....

I am one of THOSE people who shouts from the rooftop that "It's my birthday!"  "I have an anniversary today!"  I can't help it.  It seems selfish to some.  But in my Recovery, I want to Share,  I want to share with those who have loved and supported me through it ALL.  Through the BEST and ABSOLUTE WORST of times.  I do.  Today is 7 months clean for me...and dang if I am not shouting from the rooftops that I am ALIVE and HAPPY!

I woke up this morning and man did I have to go to the bathroom!  lol.  On my way out of the bathroom and off to have my first cigarette of the day ( yeah my next battle in addiction - lol)  I saw the splendor of the sunrise.  I don't often think of myself as a selfish person, but this morning...I soaked it ALL in.  I felt a presence inside me that is indescribable!  I felt God, I felt Scottie...I felt FREE.  I am CLEAN!  It felt like God put that Sunrise there - just for me. Just for me to realize how magical life can be.  I swear (if you didn't see it) that there were 7 shades of color to behold.

Last night I got "return" phone calls from my two youngest brothers.  My original calls to them were somewhat fruitless.  I just wanted to chat.  To tell them about my recent job interview and that I was thinking of them and that I missed them. These two young, twenty-somethings (who btw almost NEVER call Mom back - let alone ME) called me with such sweetness and love in their voices that I was moved to tears.  It was only a few months ago that I could get NEITHER of them to pick up the phone.  We chatted about 'what was new' and laughed and the youngest Jakabop and I even shared some tears.  It was AMAZING!  It was a dream come true... HONESTLY.

I am ETERNALLY grateful for my family!  ALL of them.  They have totally and completely loved me through this whole horrible, painful, scary, amazing, crazy, intense ride that I have been through and though I felt REALLY alone sometimes...in my heart of hearts I KNEW they were there with me and that they loved me just the same as theyhad been before.

I don't know how some people make it through addiction without their loved ones - I  honestly don't.  I feel for them.  I pray for them.  I am SO LUCKY!  I knew I had an amazing family before all of this, but I am SURE of it now!

I could NOT have done it with out them so far and they KNOW I need them going forward and I can't imagine going this ALONE.  I (fortunately) know I don't have to and I am incredibly grateful.  It melts my heart every time I think of each one of them!

I want ALL of you - Family & Friends & Strangers, alike,  to know - that although I do this every day for ME...YOU ALL MAKE IT EASIER and WORTH IT!

I LOVE YOU!  GOD LOVES YOU!

God Bless You ALL!
"One Day at a Time"

(now on to 8 months.....)

xoxo
Stacey