I don't know what it takes for other addicts to hit rock bottom and get help, but I know what it took for me. A night of serious drug use, the likes of which make even me cringe, and a fight. I let my mouth get the better of me and verbally challanged someone who, had I been in my right mind, I would NEVER have challenged before. And with my arms pinned down to my sides, I took a beating. Physical as well as emotional. The specifics are inconsequential. I now know that I needed something major to happen to snap me into the reality of just how unmanagable my life was at that point.
I now joke that I finally get one of my favorite Oprah sayings . Oprah would always say that when God was trying to speak to you he would often start with a whisper and when you weren't listening he would give you to a tap on the shoulder. Then finally when He really neeeded to get his point across, He would give you a smack upside the head!
This was mine. And it worked. I listened.
I went to rehab and they saved my life.
I look at this photo (mugshot) and the first word that comes to mind is...well...Ouch. But the second word is Sad.
Look at her face - she is Broken. Dejected. Lost.
She has lost everything and everyone that matters. But there is still hope. She is alive!
I am actually laughing right now because I can just hear the thoughts rolling in my mother's head as she reads this post. "Why on earth would you put that picture on here? Why would you want to have that picture at all? "
The answer is simple. To NEVER forget!
I look at that girl in the picture often and I know she is so different from the girl behind this computer today. I have hope. I have dreams. I have family & friends back in my life! I have a relationship with my daugher again. I am blessed! God gave that girl the wakeup call she needed and now I am better for all I have been through and all that I have learned.
I got a second chance at life and I'm not gonna waste it! I want to help others who struggle with this disease. I want them to have what I am getting more and more of everyday!
I hope that EVERY using addict is able to get that "smack upside the head" that brings them to the door of recovery and I hope they walk on through with their heads held high. (Hopefully without a broken nose and black eye!)
Just know that 24 hours is A LONG TIME for any addict to stay clean, but the best part is that you just take it one day at a time. 24 hours at a time -only that! Pretty soon those 24 hours will add up to days, weeks, months, years of a pretty amazing life - the life you could have lost. I am not going to lie and say it's easy, because it's not. But -
Recovery IS possible. You CAN do it. You Cannot do it alone! Ask for help! And know that God is Good. He forgives. He answers prayers!
YOU ARE WORTH IT!
And SO AM I!
